most productivity gurus tell us that to control our time commitments we need to say No more often. initially, it makes sense inside the context of task efficiency and getting things done. i call bullshit. it’s the worse advice one can follow in life.
where productivity went wrong
Richard Branson gives us a cool quote:
i’ve enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.
and no one can point a finger at him and exclaim “but you’re not being very efficient, mr. branson.” the dude’s got companies in air travel, music, telecom, space flight, etc. he also lives on a a private island and i say that counts for something, too.
so, do folks like Steven Covey and David Allen have it all wrong? not really. not for for the paradigm they’re working from. keyword being “working”.
see, for most folks, success is defined by the amount of work you accomplish by the end of the day. how many emails were sent? how many widgets were sold? how many cells entered in the spreadsheet?
by saying No to the things that don’t further the work you’re doing then you’re able to produce more.
No priorities
you’re supposed to say No to the things that aren’t a priority.
yeah, i hear ya. i used to work at FranklinCovey so know full well their message and methods. and over the years i’ve found most folks, despite the tools and training, just plain suck at this. mostly because people tend to wrap their identity around the work they do.
i’m a doctor. i’m an accountant. i’m a designer. i’m a ___fill-in-the-blank___
so, what happens? folks end up saying No to real life enriching experiences so they can further build their identity around their work.
i’m a recognized and award-winning doctor/designer/blank
they’re saying No to things that should be, and often are, priorities. folks are pretty good at sacrificing their priorities in order to be a “good and productive member of society”.
the Yes proposition
what i propose is this: just say Yes. it’s certainly a lot more positive way to greet life and by doing so you’ll accept more of the things that matter into your life. and find new opportunities to enjoy life more. in fact, some of the most memorable, life changing experiences i’ve had resulted from my saying Yes even when (and especially when) i wanted to say No.
what do you think? will you say Yes more often?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Well said Mark. I’ve been trying to live by that code since that movie Yes Man came out.
It’s ironic that the things you dread doing the most, or the things that are the easiest to say no to, end up being the some of the most fun and best experiences.
You’d think that people would learn eventually to start saying yes to those things more often. But, even in my case, I still find myself wanting to say no. It’s a habit I hope to break soon.
ya caught the “even when i wanted to say no” bit, eh? mostly we say “no” because saying “yes” scares us but that fear is actually what seth godin calls the lizard brain. the part of ourself that wants to avoid risk and keep us safe. i don’t know about you but the thought of acting like a reptile doesn’t sit well with me
p.s. i still work on it, too
Well said and I disagree. Saying NO is an important tool to keep the freedom to say YES to the important things. Important as in: crazy ideas, warm relationships, things that really matter. See the difference? Once you replace “further your work” with “things that matter” you get the formula how to unite efficiency with a fulfilled live. Of course the tricky part: know what’s really important for yourself and have the guts to stand for it. Once you narrow your view “only completing work tasks is important” you demote yourself to a rather small cog in the huge business gearbox (and a very replaceable too). Even the pathfinders know “One good deed a day” is top priority – not necessarily related to any work task.
stw
we’re actually in agreement, stephan. we still need to say No so that we can say Yes to more important things. however, since most folks are really confused about their priorities they don’t know what to say Yes/No to. after working with hundreds (thousands?) of folks while with FranklinCovey that was pretty apparent. folks would write down lists of the things that matter most to them, but still hold other things (work) as the priority. crappy, i know, but we humans are an odd bunch.
so, my proposition is to start saying Yes more often… because chances are many of the things you are saying No to are really thing things you want to be saying Yes to.
In my experience, whenever I say ‘yes’ to something new, people not only tell me I’m crazy, they also get angry with me. They don’t like that I’ll jump out of the box at the drop of a hat – it reminds them that they won’t.
All of my best stories started with me saying ‘yes’ to something strange:)
totally, right? the best stories always start with a “yes”.
y’know… i wonder how much the tendency to knock people back down into conformity comes from our education system. where, when you raise your hand to answer, are told you’re wrong rather than encouraged if you’re incorrect. hmm… thanks for the catalyst.
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