Happiness. It’s the uber-topic for a whole line of folks from the Dali Lama, the slicksters behind The Secret, Steven Covey and even your friendly nomad.
Hell, friend, there’s a vast hunger in the marketplace for “happy”. That’s why we got ourselves a billion dollar business. And that makes me happy.
So, the billion dollar question of the day is (would you finally be happy if you won that?): with so much material available on the topic, why the hell aren’t you happy?!
It’s time to put all the imitators aside and go to the wise men at the top of the mountain for the answer: Yoda and Buddha.
Buddha brings it, sans attachments
Buddha’s answer goes something like this:
Attachment to outcomes is what causes suffering in life.
Like all wisdom laid out by folks infinitely more insightful than I, the words are simple yet incredibly deep.
We humans have an insatiable desire to have that which we currently do not. That, and we try so hard to match our lives to some inner image, want, ideal, or story. We perceive our lives not as they are, but as we want them to be.
It’s this attachment to outcome that the brilliant Buddha speaks of. Attachment leads to want, desire, envy, frustration, jealousy, anger, disappointment, hatred, heartache, guilt, self-loathing, fill-in-the-blank. i.e. suffering.
The point is to let go of your attachment to the possible future outcomes bouncing around in your head (“Always in motion is the future,” Yoda chimes in). Especially the ones you can not control (which, frankly, is most of them). Instead, commit to being in the present.
Where goals and dreams go wrong
Sounds like hippie pie-in-the-sky talk. If you want to be happy, kid, you gotta have goals. Dreams!
Now, some folks may object and say that goals and dreams are important. That I’m not denying (I admit, I’m a recovering goal chaser). However, goals and dreams are simply directions… you can’t do goals (outcomes). Which, actually, is the reason so many folks fail at reaching their goals – they focus on the outcome and not actionable, do-able steps. You can only be in and act in the now. Happy is in your now.
This ties in with what our favorite little green man has to say.
What would Yoda do?
Yoda’s insight goes something like this:
Do or do not. There is no try.
Considering English isn’t his native language, not too cryptic. Here’s what the Jedi’s getting at: “Outcomes are created by actions. You do actions. Trying is no different than hoping for an outcome.”
Again, release whatever you think the outcome might/should be and simply act in the now. Luke, focusing on the seemingly impossible outcome of trying to lift his x-wing, whined like a beat down brat. His attachment to the perceived outcome… awww, poor lil’ nerf-herder.
Like I said, these dudes got bigger brains than I and… oh wait…
Look, we have a surprise guest who wants to say something…
Wisdom at sword point
It’s Miyamoto Musashi, Japan’s most ass-kickin’ samurai and author of The Book of Five Rings.
Here’s what the sultan of swords has to say:
When you go into battle, your mind must not be on victory or defeat. There is no room for it. Instead you must empty your mind and exist in each moment.
I think you get the drift… wise folks say give up your attachment to outcomes. Stop chasing or hoping for that idealized image that, ultimately, means nothing. Especially right now. That’s where happy is.
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Hey Mark!
Great post. I think it is our natural tendency to stress out about “What’s Next?!?” or “What’s Going To Happen To ME??”. We freak out and carry on (as if we were the first person to ask these questions or be concerned).
Part of what I’m realizing is that I’m not all that important, and when it comes down to it, it doesn’t really matter. If I can just go with the flow and stop trying to conquer the world, I become Much More Happy. The most stressed I’ve ever been was when I was resisting my situation rather than embracing it. I think the best thing that has happened lately is being humbled and realizing that none of it really matters anyway.
Cheers!
some folks may feel a sense of panic when they read this… ultimately. it doesn’t matter. others reading that may experience an incredible sense of relief
i’m reminded of a recent post of yours and the lesson that life is fulfilled through actions disconnected from any desire for future outcomes.
Happy good, sad bad.
Word.